Don Polehaus

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Don Polehaus
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Episode appearances
Episode mentions
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Don Polehaus is a detective for the Odyssey Police Department, having been transferred from Connellsville.


He has a strong sense of justice, believing that people who have a history of wrongdoing cannot be trusted to change for the better; as a result, he dislikes and is highly mistrustful of Wally Haggler. He can be very irritable, though he is looked up to by many, including Emily Jones; he is notorious for being "rudely terse". He was highly suspicious of several characters whom he believed to be involved in the Green Ring conspiracy, including Buck Oliver (though Buck outsmarted him), Monty Whittaker (briefly), and Agent Tanner. He often uses dry humor and sarcasm.


  • Detective Polehaus once claimed to have kidnapped a cow after hitting his head in a car accident; this may or may not have been a joke (#681: “The Green Ring Conspiracy, Part 3”).
  • He thinks his men are extremely incompetent and calls them clowns, among other names.


His wife died 7 years prior to his investigation of the Green Ring. He also had a nephew named Ryan who died of cancer at the age of five. His adoptive mother is still alive while his adoptive father is deceased.


John Whittaker: Detective, I've been thinking about Trickle Lake Concrete.
Don Polehaus: Yeah? And sometimes I think about large balls of lint, what about it?

#689: “The Green Ring Conspiracy, Part 11”

Unknown : You're one of those guys who thinks being rudely terse is an endearing quality.
Don Polehaus: Am I wrong?
Unknown : I'll be right back.

#683: “The Green Ring Conspiracy, Part 5”

Don Polehaus: I couldn't be happier with the verdict. Well, actually I could be, but to do that would involve reintroducing the kinds of punishments used back in the middle ages. Good times.

#692: “A Penny Saved”

Don Polehaus: And the old cassette player?
Eugene Meltsner: I unearthed it from Mr. Whittaker's archives. When I push the button... <pushes it>
Unknown: ...Share the gospel before it's too late, and the best way to do it is communicate!
Don Polehaus: <overlapping> You'll wanna change that.
Eugene Meltsner: Well, perhaps so.

#781: “Out of the Woods”

Hadley Bassett: I found the burglar going through Wooton's desk and cabinets.
Don Polehaus : Going through it how?
Hadley Bassett: Rifling through the draws and compartments in an urgent but orderly manner.
Don Polehaus : Uh-huh. Then what did you do?
Hadley Bassett: I shouted something like, "Hey, stop that!" or "Put that down!" Or I might have just—AHHHH!!!

#757: “The Ties That Bind, Part 7”

Don Polehaus: If I didn’t count pathetic cases as friends, I’d be pretty lonely.

#785: “No Cause for Concern”

Don Polehaus: Do you smell that?
John Whittaker: Smells like popcorn.
Don Polehaus: That's the smell of victory, which also smells a lot like popcorn!

#689: “The Green Ring Conspiracy, Part 11”

Don Polehaus: Martin! Just the person I wanted to yell at.

#688: “The Green Ring Conspiracy, Part 10”

Don Polehaus: By the way, do you find rudely terse endearing enough to consider having dinner with me?
Unknown : What about Mrs. Detective Polehaus?
Don Polehaus: She succumbed to a heart attack 7 years ago.
Unknown : I bet she's just using that as an excuse. Next customer please!

#683: “The Green Ring Conspiracy, Part 5”

Emily Jones: Oooh! You're putting on latex gloves, that's so cool! Is that to protect any fingerprints?
Don Polehaus: No, it's to make sure I don't give the money any icky germs.
Emily Jones: Really?
Don Polehaus: No, it's to protect any fingerprints.

#681: “The Green Ring Conspiracy, Part 3”

Miss Adelaide: Would you like to hang up a poster for the festival in the police station?
Don Polehaus: That's not my department. Uh-oh—does that mean the station is going to get hammered with paint balloons?
Miss Adelaide: I've seen the police station. It could use the color.

#755: “The Ties That Bind, Part 5”

Buck Oliver: Nice...backpack.
Don Polehaus: Yeah, it is. I bought it because it matches the coffee stains on my shirt.

#681: “The Green Ring Conspiracy, Part 3”

Don Polehaus: I'll check with you later, and get me that kid's spit.
John Whittaker: You have a way with words, Detective.

#685: “The Green Ring Conspiracy, Part 7”

Unknown : Hello?
Don Polehaus: Uh, it's for me.
Unknown : Oh.

#681: “The Green Ring Conspiracy, Part 3”

Don Polehaus: I became nasty because of guys like you.
Wally Haggler: I'm not who I was.
Don Polehaus: Sure you are. People don't ever change. Not really.
Wally Haggler: This one has.

#680: “The Green Ring Conspiracy, Part 2”

Don Polehaus: Is there some place we can talk privately?
Penny Wise: Oh. How about the Agora cafe downstairs? They have a private room. And I just LOVE their apple strudels!!
Don Polehaus: OK.
Benjamin Trask: Since Penny is my student, I ought to be there.
Don Polehaus: Suits me.
Penny Wise: Oh, can Connie come with me? For moral support?
Don Polehaus: Sure.
Connie Kendall: Well, if I'm going, then Whit has to come too.
John Whittaker: Alright.
Don Polehaus: Anyone else? Maybe we should invite the whole class.
Penny Wise: Don't be silly. There wouldn't be enough strudel for the whole class.

#683: “The Green Ring Conspiracy, Part 5”

Don Polehaus: I once kidnapped a cow after hitting my head in a car accident, but that's another story for another time.

#681: “The Green Ring Conspiracy, Part 3”

Don Polehaus: Stay close, Haggler. We're not finished with this.
Wally Haggler: Not by a long shot.

#680: “The Green Ring Conspiracy, Part 2”

Don Polehaus: Nice work, kids.
Eugene Meltsner: Did you call me a kid?

#681: “The Green Ring Conspiracy, Part 3”

Don Polehaus: And get rid of that toothpick! It'll stunt your growth!

#680: “The Green Ring Conspiracy, Part 2”

Don Polehaus: I've seen it happen more times than Wooton can count.
Wooton Bassett: Six?
Don Polehaus: Exactly.

#692: “A Penny Saved”

Don Polehaus: <to Whit> I think you need to get out of the sun.

#689: “The Green Ring Conspiracy, Part 11”

John Whittaker: So, what's everyone having?
Connie Kendall: My usual.
Don Polehaus: I'll have my usual too.
Wooton Bassett: And I'll have both their usuals with extra whipped cream and a side of licorice.

#692: “A Penny Saved”

Album Appearances

Don Polehaus has appeared in the following albums:

Don Polehaus has appeared in the following club seasons:


Don Polehaus is voiced by Phil Proctor, has appeared in 42 episodes, and has received an average user rating of 90.9%.

Don Polehaus has been mentioned in 6 episodes.