Wooton's Broken Pencil Show

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#669: “Wooton's Broken Pencil Show”
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December 8, 2009
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52: Cause and Effect
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Wooton's Broken Pencil Show

“Wooton's Broken Pencil Show” is episode #669 of the Adventures in Odyssey audio series. It was written and directed by Paul McCusker, and originally aired on October 16, 2010.


In a last-minute replacement, Wooton Bassett hosts his own Kids' Radio show and is forced to ad-lib for a half-hour. Will his show have a point?


Connie Kendall is doing a fairly normal KYDS Radio show in a broom closet while the studio is under construction. The show is starting off just fine, with her starting to discuss whether or not entertainment should have a point, until Wooton Bassett comes in to tell Connie, her car alarm is going off. She finds out her keys are missing. Connie asks Wooton to take over for her while she goes to retrieve her keys. When he asks her what to talk about, she replies with "Anything!"

Wooton begins discussing the topic of car alarms. He answers a call from Harlow Doyle, and afterward, Connie, who reports that she has located her keys, but unfortunately, they are in her car, locked up tight. She calls a locksmith.

Instead of the show's normal sponsor, Wooton decides to fill in the commercial break with a comedic skit advertising the fictional product he calls "Alarmoff"

After the break, Eugene Meltsner steps in, initially to retrieve his tape measure, but Wooton requests that he perform his KYDS Radio show Science By Design, discussing car alarms. Euguene points out that the first car theft was in 1896, and Wooton interjects that it would've been a bad idea, because there wasn't many cars at that point, and everybody would be listening for the motor. He concludes with "Never steal something mechanized in 1896!" After this, Wooton asks Eugene how car alarms point to God's design, and he answers that as the interworkings of a car point to a designer, so does the interworkings of our bodies point to a Designer.

John Whittaker comes into the studio, and a caller reminds Wooton about the reason the broadcast started, the question of whether or not entertainment should have a point. In response, Eugene provokes the importance of humans searching for meaning in everything, no matter how frivolous. He explains that "to purposefully eliminate meaning is to reduce us to an animalistic understanding of the world, and even eternity." He then asks "Does this show have a point?" and in answer, Wooton starts searching for a literal, physical point and after finding none, he concludes that it's been stolen, and this calls for a drama featuring his comic book character Captain Absolutely. Whit and Eugene begrudgingly participate in the performance of this drama.

Captain Absolutely is flying over Metropolitanville when he spots that the famous wrestler Roundhouse, of which he is a fan, is signing autographs, assisted by his manager, former wrestler Thug Clockripper. Thug requests that Captain Absolutely come to a meeting at his personal training complex that following afternoon. Unfortunately, when he arrives, he finds that he has been deceived, and he is kidnapped. Thug Clockripper tells Captain Absolutely that he is going to "turn the world round," meaning he is going to remove all points and meaning from the world. Through a television announcement, he explains that he will launch an enormous pencil to puncture an enormous balloon, releasing a gas that renders everyone on earth dumb. Thug reveals that the purpose of this endeavor is that he wants to recapture lost ratings on his pro-wrestling network, and he begins the launch.

Wooton leaves the drama on a cliffhanger to check in with Connie, who is with mechanic Red Hollard, who has been requested as a locksmith. He claims that he left his equipment at home, and throws a brick into Connie's car to get her keys, to her dismay. It was discovered that Connie's keys were not in the car, but Eugene was carrying them the whole time. Connie tells the studio that she will be right in, and the Captain Absolutely drama continues.

Captain Absolutely, using his extensive knowledge of the Roundhouse, starts tickling him in his most ticklish spot, distracting him and setting him free. He flies after the giant pencil and balloon, tying them together to fly up into space. The vacuum of space pops the balloon, where the unsuspecting commander of a space station is accidentally affected by the gas.

The world is saved, but Thug Clockripper escaped, leaving a message explaining that his quest to rid the world of meaning is not over. After the drama is concluded, Eugene returns Connie's keys to her, with Whit and Wooton's comedic sportscasting. Wooton then ends the broadcast with the point of the entire show, which he claims to be "Never steal a car in 1896!"

Chris's ending wraparound is interrupted by Wooton letting her know that her car alarm has been set off, and after she leaves, he reads the end credits.

Discussion Questions

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  • In the first airing and the release of this episode, Wooton is reading the actors, and the characters they play, and comes to "...And Jess Harnell as-! No, that can't be right." In subsequent airings, he simply says, "Our cast included...Andre Stojka, and Jess Harnell. Never heard of that guy!"
  • Harlow's Society for the Prevention of Defamation to Animals is probably an allusion to the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals.
  • The astronaut in the space station uses the famous line "Houston, we have a problem", an erroneous quote of a phrase said during the real-life Apollo 13 mission which was used in the movie adaptation of the event.



Connie Kendall: I'm here with Red Hollard, who is a registered locksmith...
Red Hollard: ...So I'm going to break into your car to get your keys, so you can turn that alarm off.
Connie Kendall: Sounds great! And how are you going to do break into the car. I assume you have one of those long car breaker-into things like they use on TV where you slide it down along the window and pull up on the lock mechanism?
Red Hollard: Uh, no. I wish I had one of those car breaker-into things.
Connie Kendall: Oh, then what are you going to use?
Red Hollard: This brick!!

Captain Absolutely: I know the significance of a particular spot 3 inches down from his left arm-pit.
Thug Clockripper: Oh?!
Captain Absolutely: It's where he's most ticklish!

Thug Clockripper: With the push of this button on my remote control a giant projectile pencil will be launched at the giant balloon. And the deed will be done. Ready? Just say the magic word.
Captain Absolutely: STOP!!
Thug Clockripper: That's the one!

Wooton Bassett: Our cast included Will Ryan as Eugene, Katie Leigh as Connie, Andre Stojka as Whit, and Jess Harnell as... No, that can't be right.

Wooton Bassett: So what do you think of car alarms, Harlow?
Harlow Doyle: I don't belong to that group.

Wooton Bassett: Wait! Back to our dramatic news insert! <News insert music plays> Siege at Whit's End!

Harlow Doyle: Hello! Harlow Doyle Here!
Wooton Bassett: Hi, Harlow Doyle Here!

Wooton Bassett: Look who just walked in! Oh, you can't look; this is radio.