Shepard quotes
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An automatically created list of quotes by the Shepard family.
On this page: Ben | Ellen | Aubrey | Bethany
Ben
| “ | Ben Shepard: You can show them your Winnie the Pooh impression! "Oh bother!" Unknown: Winnie the Pooh! Winnie the Pooh! |
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| “ | Ben Shepard: I mean, do you have any idea how many people go through life not knowing what a wobble-wedge can do for them? Aubrey Shepard: Oh, tragic! Ben Shepard: Oh, very! |
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| “ | Ben Shepard: Get on the horse. Aubrey Shepard: Uh, Dad, I feel a little silly. Ben Shepard: It's okay; there aren't any hidden cameras. |
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| “ | Aubrey Shepard: Dad, don't you think this might be a cosmic sign, like bad karma or something saying "turn back, turn back old man!"? Ben Shepard: Nice try. |
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| “ | Ben Shepard: Were Aubrey and Bethany here tonight? Eugene Meltsner: They were. Aubrey, in fact, performed an exemplary rendition of works of mid-18th century poets. Ben Shepard: Uh, where are they now? Eugene Meltsner: Deceased, I believe. Ben Shepard: Not the poets, Eugene — our daughters! |
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| “ | Aubrey Shepard: I couldn't sit there very long, so I walked around outside for a little bit. Then I thought, I wish I knew God the way you do. I wish we had a place where I can talk with him just like I can talk with you here in the kitchen. Ben Shepard: I know a place like that. And you know what? It's not in the chapel, or in the kitchen. It's inside you. Aubrey Shepard: I don't think it's anywhere near as nice as the kitchen is right now. Ben Shepard: Well, maybe not now, but it can be. He can make it that way. But he'll only come in if you invite him. Aubrey Shepard: I'd like that. I wanna invite him in. |
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| “ | The Good Stepladder Father: She's my widdew tootsy-wootsy! Snow DeWhite: Mutual, I'm sure. |
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| “ | Magic Mirror: She's in the Amazon rainforest. The Good Stepladder Father: That's better- The Amazon rainforest?! |
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Ellen
| “ | Ellen Shepard: Come on in, Blieble... Connie, Blieble is from the planet Glork. He and Aubrey used to fly all over the galaxy together. Connie Kendall: Oh, you're from Glork. Well, that explains the yellow spots. Aubrey Shepard: Purple... purple spots, and green antenna. I remember. We used to have so much fun together. |
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| “ | Aubrey Shepard: No. This has to stop! Ellen Shepard: Oh, Aubrey! Aubrey Shepard: But Mom, Belinda almost sat on Blieble. She can't have every chair! |
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Aubrey
| “ | Aubrey Shepard: He bit me, and I bit him! |
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| “ | Aubrey Shepard: When I open this garbage can lid, anything can happen. |
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| “ | Micah: I am Micah. Son of Agun. John the Baptist: I'm John. Micah: John the Baptist. Aubrey Shepard: Nice to meet you. I'm Aubrey the Methodist. Or Episcopalian, I don't exactly remember. |
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| “ | Aubrey Shepard: Connie, who is that? Connie Kendall: It's... it's... Regis Blackgaard: That's right. It is I, Dr. Regis Blackgaard. |
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| “ | Aubrey Shepard: I don't know what to believe. And I won't know if I can't study to find out for myself! |
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| “ | Aubrey Shepard: You've all been abducted by space aliens, right? |
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| “ | Ben Shepard: I mean, do you have any idea how many people go through life not knowing what a wobble-wedge can do for them? Aubrey Shepard: Oh, tragic! Ben Shepard: Oh, very! |
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| “ | Liz Horton: Man, those move fast! I'm not much of a hitter. Aubrey Shepard: You don't have to hit. We're not here to have fun. We're here to be Christians. Liz Horton: You want us to bless the baseballs? |
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| “ | Aubrey Shepard: Mr. Whittaker, what's wrong? John Whittaker: I have to call the police! Aubrey Shepard: The police?! What happened? John Whittaker: S-someone—someone stole the Imagination Station! |
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| “ | Ben Shepard: Get on the horse. Aubrey Shepard: Uh, Dad, I feel a little silly. Ben Shepard: It's okay; there aren't any hidden cameras. |
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| “ | Aubrey Shepard: Dad, don't you think this might be a cosmic sign, like bad karma or something saying "turn back, turn back old man!"? Ben Shepard: Nice try. |
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| “ | Bart Rathbone: The mics and the earpieces are so small, they're nearly indefectible. Aubrey Shepard: You mean, indetectable. Bart Rathbone: Yeah, that, too. |
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| “ | Aubrey Shepard: What are you so afraid of? Regis Blackgaard: Afraid? I'm not afraid of anything young lady! You are bordering on insolence. |
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| “ | Erica Colburn: So this is Whit's End. Aubrey Shepard: Yep. Erica Colburn: It's not a good sign when they put help wanted on the door. We might have to wait a while to eat. |
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| “ | Connie Kendall: Aubrey, this is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. I want to be your friend. But I can't—I mean I won't keep covering for you. This is for your own good. Aubrey Shepard: What's for my own good? Connie Kendall: I talked it over with Whit. We have to think of the kids at Whit's End and the message we're sending them. Aubrey Shepard: What does that mean? Connie Kendall: What I'm saying is, I'm gonna have to... fire you. |
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| “ | Ellen Shepard: Come on in, Blieble... Connie, Blieble is from the planet Glork. He and Aubrey used to fly all over the galaxy together. Connie Kendall: Oh, you're from Glork. Well, that explains the yellow spots. Aubrey Shepard: Purple... purple spots, and green antenna. I remember. We used to have so much fun together. |
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| “ | Aubrey Shepard: Aren't you a little old to be swinging on a swing? John Whittaker: Well, now how old do you have to be? |
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| “ | Tom Riley: I could train you and you're a fast learner. I should talk to your parents about this and see what they think. Aubrey Shepard: Thanks, Mr. Riley, but I don't need any more opportunities to look ridiculous. I appreciate it, though. I'll see you tomorrow! Tom Riley: We're not through talking about this! Not by a long shot. |
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| “ | Aubrey Shepard: It was my fault this happened. John Whittaker: It wasn't your fault. I think we were both duped as part of a plan. But you know what, Aubrey? I'm proud of you. Aubrey Shepard: Y-you are? John Whittaker: Well, you didn't lie or make up excuses. You were willing to take responsibility. I don't think you would have done that a couple of weeks ago. You're on a good path now, and I can see the difference. |
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| “ | Bethany Shepard: You're worried about me? Aubrey Shepard: Bethany! What are you doing here?! |
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| “ | Aubrey Shepard: What should I do with this silly robe? Should it be wet or dry?! <rain begins to pour> Thank you. |
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| “ | Betsy: I used to be a dried-up, cynical, prune-faced, miserable creature, just like you! Aubrey Shepard: Oh...? |
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| “ | Aubrey Shepard: You're just a computer program. Regis Blackgaard: Ah, but I'm a program that knows the truth. What is that saying? The truth shall set you free. I want to set you free, Aubrey. |
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| “ | Aubrey Shepard: Connie, is everything alright? Connie Kendall: Yeah, I'm sorry, Aubrey. It's just that Whit's gone to Connellsville, Nick's gone to school, Eugene's gone who knows where, and I've gone insane, that's all! |
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| “ | Todd: Where'd you learn to drive? Aubrey Shepard: I drove a lawn tractor at the Timothy Center. |
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| “ | Aubrey Shepard: No. This has to stop! Ellen Shepard: Oh, Aubrey! Aubrey Shepard: But Mom, Belinda almost sat on Blieble. She can't have every chair! |
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| “ | Aubrey Shepard: Ugh, I'll probably have to sell my blood or something. Bethany Shepard: Ooh, Aubrey, that's a great one! I'll add it to my list, too! Aubrey Shepard: What list? |
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| “ | Aubrey Shepard: Do you know where you'd go? Nick Mulligan: If my pet died? Probably to the toilet to flush him. Aubrey Shepard: But... wouldn't you want to make sure you both end up in a... happy place? Nick Mulligan: You callin' the toilet a happy place? That's just flat-out sick, Aubrey. |
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| “ | Aubrey Shepard: How bad was it? Bethany Shepard: Hmm. I'm grounded 'til I can vote. |
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| “ | Guy Shaeffer: So you think that my group is made up of a bunch of phonies, people who aren't happy, but act like they are. Aubrey Shepard: Yeah... I guess. Guy Shaeffer: But here you are, in a situation that would make a lot of people happy, like your parents, but you act like you aren't. Aubrey Shepard: Hey, I'm not pretending to be unhappy. Guy Shaeffer: Hahaha. You aren't? Are you sure? Being miserable is an easy habit to take on. Aubrey Shepard: And being happy is an easy thing to fake. Guy Shaeffer: Hmm. Well then, I suppose that gives us both something to think about. |
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| “ | Aubrey Shepard: Did you burn down Mr. Riley's barn? Regis Blackgaard: Absolutely not. A thug named Richard Maxwell did that. And afterwards he burnt down my business Blackgaard's Castle as well. A business I might add that was direct competition for Whit's End. It was only due to my diligence that Maxwell was caught and sent to prison for his crimes. |
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| “ | John Whittaker: You want a life? Take mine. Aubrey Shepard: No, Mr. Whittaker! Don't! John Whittaker: It's all right Aubrey. Come on, Blackgaard. Me for her. |
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| “ | Aubrey Shepard: I couldn't sit there very long, so I walked around outside for a little bit. Then I thought, I wish I knew God the way you do. I wish we had a place where I can talk with him just like I can talk with you here in the kitchen. Ben Shepard: I know a place like that. And you know what? It's not in the chapel, or in the kitchen. It's inside you. Aubrey Shepard: I don't think it's anywhere near as nice as the kitchen is right now. Ben Shepard: Well, maybe not now, but it can be. He can make it that way. But he'll only come in if you invite him. Aubrey Shepard: I'd like that. I wanna invite him in. |
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| “ | Aubrey Shepard: Did you try to steal a top secret government computer in Chicago? Regis Blackgaard: Oh how absurd! I was working for the government at the time, trying to get the computer back. It was Whittaker who was under suspicion. |
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| “ | Aubrey Shepard: I think I'd be mad at God for letting something like that happen. Connie Kendall: Sometimes I am mad at God. Then I also believe what happened is all part of something bigger than I can understand right now. And somehow, deep inside, I trust him. |
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| “ | Connie Kendall: Here I was, trying to give you a second chance—trying to be a good influence! And you were using me to cover your tracks, just like Erica's been using you! It's as if she's turning you into her little disciple! Aubrey Shepard: Erica is more of a friend than you'll ever be! Connie Kendall: Oh, I'm sure she is, if you think friendship is all about using people! |
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| “ | Aubrey Shepard: Did you take over Whit's End? Regis Blackgaard: Is that what they told you? Aubrey, I acquired Whit's End legally. It's all a matter of public record. You can look it up if you like. Aubrey Shepard: And Odyssey? Regis Blackgaard: I only wanted what is best for the town. Same as Whittaker. |
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| “ | Erica Colburn: You've been at school two weeks and you're already locked into your little routine. Where's your sense of adventure? Aubrey Shepard: Right here! A green chili cheeseburger. |
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Bethany
| “ | Bethany Shepard: But we didn't make it to Philadelphia in time for the signing of the Declaration of Independence, so Jefferson got mad. |
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| “ | Bethany Shepard: Oh no, I love it! I look like Laura Ingalls Wilderness in it. When she's out on the frontier herding turkeys and then some Indians, ah, I mean Native Americans, come out from behind the trees, armed with water balloons, and so she runs away, but her little dog Toto gets caught by Pocahontas, the last Mohican, and Laura runs to tell her Pa, who starts to cry, because he's going to abandon her and take part on the Byway to Heaven! Grandpa Frank: That's exactly what I thought of when we bought it! |
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| “ | Bethany Shepard: You're worried about me? Aubrey Shepard: Bethany! What are you doing here?! |
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| “ | Aubrey Shepard: Ugh, I'll probably have to sell my blood or something. Bethany Shepard: Ooh, Aubrey, that's a great one! I'll add it to my list, too! Aubrey Shepard: What list? |
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| “ | Aubrey Shepard: How bad was it? Bethany Shepard: Hmm. I'm grounded 'til I can vote. |
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