Have You No Selpurcs?

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#127: “Have You No Selpurcs?”
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Proverbs 14:8-9

8The wisdom of the prudent is to give thought to their ways, but the folly of fools is deception. 9Fools mock at making amends for sin, but goodwill is found among the upright.

Proverbs 14:15-16
15A simple man believes anything, but a prudent man gives thought to his steps. 16A wise man fears the LORD and shuns evil, but a fool is hotheaded and reckless.

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Have You No Selpurcs?

“Have You No Selpurcs?” is episode #127 of the Adventures in Odyssey audio series. It was written and directed by Phil Lollar, and originally aired on September 8, 1990.


Curt Stevens and Lucy Cunningham-Schultz find out what "selpurcs" are by playing a game of Whit's design.


Lucy Cunningham-Schultz and Curt Stevens are waiting for Lucy's mom to pick them up from Whit's End. While they wait, Connie gives them a test she's come across in a magazine that measures your "HQ" — Honesty Quotient. Whit walks up just as they finish. To no one's surprise, Curt fails miserably. Lucy, on the other hand, scores a perfect 100 percent. She rubs Curt's nose in it a little bit — then the two of them leave as Lucy's mom pulls up.

Whit is intrigued by the test. He's not only dismayed that Curt scored so poorly, Whit's also upset that Lucy enjoyed pointing it out to everyone. So Whit decides to come up with a game for Lucy and Curt based on the test. The game is called "Selpurcs." All Curt and Lucy have to do is follow the instructions contained inside a series of envelopes scattered around Odyssey. If they adhere to the directions, and if they figure out what "selpurcs" means, they are promised a fabulous surprise at the end of the game.

Curt and Lucy agree. Instantly, they are faced with a series of moral dilemmas involving Connie and a mail-order scarf, a quart of orange juice, Lucy's neighbor's newspaper, and a movie called Betsy the Bumblebee. At each turn — and in typical fashion — Curt makes the wrong choice or helps others to make the wrong choice.

By the end of the game, things are a mess. But the two have learned some things. Curt realizes that the disastrous results are due to the lousy choices he's made. Lucy is reprimanded for her prideful attitude — and both of them have figured out what "selpurcs" means. Have you?

This plot section is too short and should be expanded. »

Discussion Questions

  1. What should Lucy have done when Curt made the wrong decisions?
  2. Why did Lucy need to learn a lesson?
  3. Have you ever faced any dilemmas like the ones Curt and Lucy faced?
    • If so, what did you do?


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Frank Stevens Curt Stevens


  • On the official summary of the episode on Whitsend.org, the movie in this episode is titled "My Little Unicorn."
  • This episode was originally titled: Have You No Selpurks?
  • The Betsy the Bumblebee movie in this episode has a sequel, Me and My Honey, which shows up much later in #529: “The Mailman Cometh”.
  • Apparently, there is a Zapazoids movie. Strangely, it is rated "G."



Curt Stevens: See? They don't even look at it.
Cashier: You can't use this; it's expired.
Curt Stevens: Oh? Really? Well... can't you just sorta pass it on through?
Cashier: P-p-pass it on through? No, I can't pass it on through; that would mean a loss of money to the store! It might reflect on my paycheck. Are you trying to take food out of my mouth or something??
Curt Stevens: No! Forget the coupon. Here's a twenty.
Cashier: That's better. Kids these days.

John Whittaker: You just have to follow instructions. You can do that, can't you?
Curt Stevens: Depends on the instructions.

Lucy Cunningham-Schultz: You want us to buy juice, Mr. Whittaker?
John Whittaker: Well, that's what it says.

Mr. Johnson: Uh, excuse me. What are you doing?
Lucy Cunningham-Schultz: Oh, Mr. Johnson! You're back.
Mr. Johnson: Yeah, and just in time too, I see. Is this what you do when I'm away, Lucy? Steal my newspaper?
Lucy Cunningham-Schultz: No! No, sir! I mean — this is the first time. I mean, we weren't stealing, actually. We just wanted to look at the movie section.

Lucy Cunningham-Schultz: He hates when he's wrong. But I love it.

Lucy Cunningham-Schultz: We're going to see Betsy the Bumblebee.
Peter Holt: <snickers> Betsy the Bumblebee? Ooh, Curt, I never knew...!

Curt Stevens: We've also got this coupon, sir.
Cashier: I'm thrilled.