Joe Finneman, voiced by Parley Baer, was a courier at Pearl Harbor at the time of the attack on December seventh. As a sergeant in WWII Joe saw combat 'island hopping' as a young man. While in the process of deserting his unit, he rescued a group of children in New Guinea and was awarded a Purple Heart and bravery medal, but refused them out of guilt.
Joe now runs Finneman's Market in Odyssey. He has no great desire to go to church, insisting that they haven't changed since he was last there, and on top of that thinks he is too old for God, though we occasionally see Connie working on him to go to church. However, he finally went to church after Connie convinced him.
- Main Article: Kendall family
|“||Joe Finneman: That's how I met Sam. Have I ever mentioned Sam?
|“||Joe Finneman: I don't want to go because I already know what's gonna happen...I haven't been to church since I was a boy, and I can guarantee you nothing has changed...I'll prove it to you. First thing that happens when you get there is somebody greets you. Grabs your hand and nearly shakes it off. Am I right?...Alright, then you go in and sit. And they start off with a few announcements about Brother So-and-So's gallbladder and Sister Such-and-Such's rheumatism--
Connie Kendall: She has arthritis, actually.
Joe Finneman: Mm hm. And next the music man rises and directs two or three melodies everybody mouths the words to, which is followed by a prayer, which is followed by more lip-syncing.
Connie Kendall: Nobody lip-synchs.
Joe Finneman: Nobody except the choir. And if they aren't, then they're squeaking out a ditty nobody could understand even if they wanted to. Oh, then comes my favorite part. The collection of the money.
Connie Kendall: We do not collect the money then. We do it later.
Joe Finneman: Oh, I thought so. But once all this is done we finally get to the headliner. Pastor Fire-and-Brimstone steps up and reminds us of what wretched creatures we are...once a month or so, he'll invite folks to come forward, but the rest of the time he just wraps up with another little ditty or a closing prayer to catch what we missed the first time around...Then everybody shakes your hand off again, and they all go out front and smoke cigarettes.
Connie Kendall: Nobody smokes.
|“||Joe Finneman: Why don't you show a little trust in your own people?
Sam Saburo: Because I'm Japanese. That's why.
|“||Joe Finneman: Connie, Dale. There is no story. Now really. Ok?
Dale Jacobs: Ok, I read ya. But you need to know that I'm gonna keep digging. I think you do have a story and I think it deserves to be told.
|“||Connie Kendall: Whit was wounded at Guadalcanal. Were you there?
Joe Finneman: Uh huh. For three months.
|“||Connie Kendall: Ooh, Australia, that's where they did the Sound of Music.
Joe Finneman: That's Austria.
Connie Kendall: Oh yeah.
|“||Jimmy Barclay: ... Donna! Mr. Whittaker!
Jessie Morales: You forgot me, Jimmy.
Jimmy Barclay: Jessie!
Jessie Morales: Thank you.
Joe Finneman: A friendly store where everyone knows each other — oh, it just warms my heart.
|“||Joe Finneman: The name's Joe.
Terence Buganville: GI Joe? He's a GI Joe!
Unknown: GI Joe! GI Joe!
Joe Finneman: No, no. Just Joe. No GI.
|“||Joe Finneman: You wan'a have a go at Zappazoids while you wait?
Jimmy Barclay: Sure! Well, uh no thanks.
Joe Finneman: The end of the world must be coming and I must be standing in the middle of it. Why not?
Jimmy Barclay: We're giving TV up for a month and Zappazoids was part of the deal.
Joe Finneman: But, that's like giving up breathing or having your nose hairs plucked out!
Jimmy Barclay: You're telling me! Nose hairs?