Sam Johnson

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Sam redirects here. For other uses see Sam (disambiguation).
Sam Johnson
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Voiced by
Episode appearances
Nickname
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Religion
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First episode
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Sam is the perpetual 'good boy' who always tries to do right. His confusion over why bad kids get all the attention was covered in #263: “When Bad Isn't So Good”. Sam hangs around with Lucy Cunningham-Schultz, who is just like him. He used to be friends with Butch, but when Butch joined the Bones of Rath, the friendship soured. Though accused of being a goody-two-shoes, Sam is a solid (if sometimes boring) role model. He was briefly involved in the Israelites.

Family

Sam has a sister, Kelly Johnson, which he seems to almost always get along with. His parents are Pete and Nancy Johnson.

Quotes

Sam Johnson: You know it’s times like this when I wish I was a superhero. Then I could catch these guys before they do stuff like this.
Connie Kendall: <laughing> Yeah, that's just what we need—Super Sam!
Sam Johnson: Dum da daaa!

“Small Fires, Little Pools”

Bruno Beltser: I've seen better swings in the monkey cage at the zoo!
Sam Johnson: Leave your relatives out of this!

“The Secret Weapon”

Rusty Gordon: Here's some money, Mr. Whittaker. Uh, keep the change.
John Whittaker: Uh, thanks, Rusty.
Sam Johnson: They're up to something...
John Whittaker: They sure are. He was 15 cents short.

“The Potential in Elliot”

Rodney Rathbone: Leave him alone. What'd you do to him?
Sam Johnson: He didn't do anything to him Rodney. Look. Something came out of his eyes.
Rodney Rathbone: Gross. It looks like fish scales.

“St. Paul: Set Apart by God”

Sam Johnson: On my homework yesterday, I spelled my name with two L’s! I'm going crazy!
Kim Peterson: Your name doesn't have an L in it.
Sam Johnson: See! That's my point! I'm going crazy!

“W-O-R-R-Y”

Harlow Doyle: A brilliant idea!
Sam Johnson: What?
Harlow Doyle: That's what we need, a brilliant idea.

“The Bad Hair Day”

Rusty Gordon (Malone): Would you like it if someone bad-mouthed your dad?
Sam Johnson: You did one time.
Rusty Gordon (Malone): Uhhhhh... did you like it?
Sam Johnson: No!
Rusty Gordon: Well, neither do I.

“When Bad Isn't So Good”

Sam Johnson: You're throwing away your Disney Read-A-Long records? You think they're impure?
Isaac Morton: I don't know. Better safe than sorry, I figure.
Sam Johnson: Bambi?!
Isaac Morton: Who knows how this stuff might influence me at weak moments.

“Isaac the Pure”

Sam Johnson: I got a new bike. It's a 10-speed.
Brian Evans: Oh, boy, I bet it goes fast.
Sam Johnson: It does, I even got a speedometer for my birthday. I got it up to almost forty-five miles an hour once going downhill.
Brian Evans: Really? Can a person breathe going that fast?

“The Good, the Bad and Butch”

Sam Johnson: Nice mask. Last time I saw that kind of get-up was at Halloween.

“Small Fires, Little Pools”

Jason Whittaker: So what do you say Sam? Ya wanna try the program?
Sam Johnson: Yeah, sure.
Jason Whittaker: Great. At last, a victim.

“St. Paul: The Man from Tarsus”

Bernard Walton: Is that the only reason you wanna do good things—to get noticed?
Sam Johnson: No, I wanna do them because I know it's right. But being right all the time doesn't get me praise from teachers or free ice cream from Whit's End!
Bernard Walton: So what?
Sam Johnson: Huh?
Bernard Walton: You heard me; so what? Sam, doing good is its own reward, and I got news for you: it always pays off! Sometimes in ways you can't see—in fact, most times in ways you can't see. But it always does, because doing what's right pleases God! And that's the most important thing, now, isn't it?

“When Bad Isn't So Good”

Sam Johnson: Did you know that one meaning of the Greek words for compassion is to be moved down to the pit of your stomach? Sort of like having a gut feeling.

“B-TV: Compassion”

Sam Johnson: Mr. Whittaker, I can't believe I caused all of that. Just because I didn't keep my mouth shut.
John Whittaker: Well, most of us suffer from that problem. It's easy to criticize, to pour cold water on people's ideas and dreams. But encouraging people, even those that want to do seemingly impossible things, can be very hard. Yet, it's probably what they need from us the most.

“The Potential in Elliot”

Sam Johnson: What did the mother bullet say to the daddy bullet?
Rodney Rathbone: What?
Sam Johnson: We're gonna have a be-be!

“The Good, the Bad and Butch”

Sam Johnson: Hey! There's something here I didn't notice before! Look!
Harlow Doyle: By George, you're right! It's... dirt?

“The Bad Hair Day”

Sam Johnson: Why didn't they play cards on Noah's ark?
Courtney Vincent: Why?
Sam Johnson: Because Noah sat on the deck!

“I Want My B-TV!”

Rusty Gordon: You really don't know any [dirty jokes]?
Sam Johnson: No.
Rusty Gordon: Well, maybe you can make one up. Let me help you. Try to think of the three most disgusting things you've ever heard of.
Sam Johnson: What?
Rusty Gordon: Okay, I got mine. You got yours?
Sam Johnson: No.
Rusty Gordon: All right, I'll let you use mine. Number one...
Sam Johnson: <interrupting> I don't wanna hear this.
Rusty Gordon: You know, you're really not getting into the spirit of this. Maybe we need to smear some pimento cheese or something on your face. That'll get you thinking disgusting thoughts.

“The Good, the Bad and Butch”

Sam Johnson: I'm Sam Johnson, and I don't do anything. I'm a kid!
Harlow Doyle: Is that with an "i" or a "y"?
Sam Johnson: "Kid" is spelled with an "i."
Harlow Doyle: Oh. Well I was talking about "Johnson," but since you brought it up...

“The Bad Hair Day”

Sam Johnson: What man in the Bible had no parents?
Courtney Vincent: I give up.
Sam Johnson: Joshua, the son of Nun!

“I Want My B-TV!”

Sam Johnson: All I know is that I'd still be your friend if you quit being Butch and started being Brian again.
Brian Evans: Brian's gone.
Sam Johnson: That's too bad. Let me know if he comes back. I miss him.

“The Good, the Bad and Butch”

Sam Johnson: We recorded a tape of the agents confessing that they rigged the test results!
Philip Glossman: Excuse me! Ah, hold on, hold on. Philip Glossman here. On behalf of the state government, I demand that you give me that tape.
Eugene Meltsner: With all due respect, Mr. Glossman... we'd rather make two dozen copies, and then give you the tape!

“Tom for Mayor, Part 2”


Episodes

Sam Johnson is voiced by Kyle Ellison, has appeared in 35 episodes, and has received an average user rating of 90.5%.

Resources