Fred Zachary
Description
Coach Fred Zachary is a school teacher and sports coach at one or several Odyssey schools and a counselor at Camp What-A-Nut. His distinctive catchphrase is "whatchacall."
History
Fred Zachary made his debut appearance in #69: “Go Ye Therefore” as a substitute teacher for one of Connie Kendall's classes at Odyssey High School. Here he showed himself to be rather permissive and hands-off, being content to let the students speak quietly among themselves, or sleep, as long as they weren't overly loud. When Connie became upset while trying to witness to two of her classmates, Mr. Zachary half-heartedly mediated the dispute and asked whether Connie truly were a missionary to Pygmies as the others were claiming. When Connie walked out, he tried unsuccessfully to give her a hall pass.
Mr. Zachary returned as a camp counselor for the elementary-age boys in #74: “Connie Goes to Camp, Part 1” and participated in (arguably) some of the funniest scenes in the entire show. While the boys began practicing their archery, he narrowly avoided death by arrows and soon suggested they try their hands at water balloons instead. That night in the cabin, Mr. Zachary insisted the boys quiet down and sleep, mocking Jimmy Barclay's claim that his pillow was too hard ("want me to come puff it up for ya?!") and reminding them all to be thankful they weren't camped outdoors in "whatchacall, tents" like the girls. Fred continued to take issue with Jimmy at the archery contest with the girls the following day, calling Jimmy out on his unsportsmanlike distraction of Robyn Jacobs as she took her shot. He also showed a rare flare of temper as the boys ended up losing the canoeing competition by forgetting to untie their canoe from the dock.
Once school resumed that fall, Mr. Zachary was forced in #86: “Isaac the Insecure” to reluctantly — and highly awkwardly — cut a struggling Isaac Morton from the soccer team after witnessing Isaac's utter lack of aptitude for the sport. As it turned out, Isaac was simply trying to emulate his idol, Mr. Zachary's star player Jack Davis.
While teaching Donna Barclay's class that same year in #89: “That's Not Fair”, Mr. Zachary became increasingly disappointed with Donna's tardiness in completing her assignments, to the point of embarrassing her one day in front of the class and handing her an extra assignment to boot. When faced with Donna's claim of unfairness, Mr. Zachary pointed out how lenient he had been with Donna's continually late assignments over the course of that quarter, leaving Donna without response.
Returning to the world of sports the following spring in #110: “A...is for Attitude”, Mr. Zachary coached Jimmy Barclay and company on the elementary boys' basketball team and was less than thrilled by the team's embarrassing performance after they took advice from Connie about focusing solely on their attitude at the expense of practice: "you'd have to improve a whole lot to be awful!" Questioning their tactics during the game — "whatchacall, dumb plays" — he asked why Ben would pass to Jimmy when the latter was on the bench: "didn't it strike you as a tad strange that he was sitting down?!" He could not, however, dismiss their high morale going into the game: "no skill, but lots of spirit." He invited them back to practice next Monday — where they would work on actual game skills.
Mr. Zachary made a brief appearance in #114: “The Big Broadcast” as a sports commentator on Kids Radio, during which he had nothing of substance to offer about any topic whatsoever but thanked his host Eugene anyway, expressing an eagerness to return to the airwaves in the future "whether [he] had anything to say or not."
Sadly, Mr. Zachary returned to the show only once more in #124: “The Winning Edge” as an announcer for Robyn Jacobs's softball games. He has not been heard or mentioned since.
Quotes
| “ | Isaac Morton: Are you cutting me from the team, Mr. Zachary? Fred Zachary: Cutting you? Now, Isaac, "cutting you" is whatchacall a very harsh word! It sounds like a brutal slice, a severing, a destructive act of whatchacall— Isaac Morton: You're cutting me from the team. Fred Zachary: Yes. |
” |
| “ | Fred Zachary: Oh, Isaac, it's not that you're not good, it's just, you know, whatchacall. |
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| “ | Connie Kendall: As soon as the guys hurry up, we'll get started. <beat> Are you ready, guys? Fred Zachary: Hey, hey, we're praying for God to give us kindness and compassion against our enemies — do ya mind? |
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| “ | Jimmy Barclay: We were pretty awful, huh, coach? Fred Zachary: No, no no, you'd have to improve a whole lot to be awful! |
” |
| “ | Fred Zachary: Whatchacall—woah! |
” |
| “ | Fred Zachary: They kept making these, whatchacall, dumb plays. Like those passes you kept throwing to Jimmy, Ben. Ben (b): He was always open! Fred Zachary: He was on the bench! Didn't it strike you as a tad strange that, uh, that, uh he was sitting down?! Ben (b): I thought he was tired! Sorry. |
” |
| “ | Fred Zachary: Something, whatchacall wrong? |
” |
| “ | Fred Zachary: I've shown you how to use these bows and arrows, and I have to, uh, whatchacall tell ya: I didn't think you could hit the broad side of a barn, but I was wrong. That's all you've been hitting. |
” |
| “ | Fred Zachary: Hey Oscar! Oscar Peterson: Yes? Fred Zachary: What are you doing? Oscar Peterson: Trying to... fit the arrow in my bow... Fred Zachary: Well it helps if you keep your eyes open! |
” |
| “ | Jimmy Barclay: Mr. Zachary, did you see that? I almost made it to the target! Fred Zachary: Very good, Jimmy! I bet the arrow would go a little further if you let it go at the same time you let go of the string....! Jimmy Barclay: Wow! Great idea! |
” |
| “ | Fred Zachary: Listen, I think maybe it's time for the big leagues. Jack Davis: You mean— Fred Zachary: That's right. Let's get this canoe out of the swimming pool, and see how ya do in the lake! Jack Davis: Yeah! Oscar Peterson: All right! Jimmy Barclay: Cool! Oscar Peterson: Can I still keep my life preserver on? Fred Zachary: Absolutely! |
” |
Episodes
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