Eugene and Katrina's Relationship Arc
Connie Kendall: Look, you're a boy, which naturally means you don't know the first thing about girls. I'm a girl, which...
Eugene Meltsner: Which naturally means you know everything there is to know about boys and girls.
Connie Kendall: Right!
Eugene Meltsner: What?!
Eugene Meltsner: I believe that...I'm in love with Katrina.
Eugene: I would humbly suggest to be careful not to jump to any conclusions.
Katrina: Oh, I’d never count my chickens before they hatched.
Eugene: But you might kill two birds with one stone.
Katrina: Not when a bird in hand is worth two in a bush.
Eugene: Unless bird of a feather flock together.
Katrina: Well, then, I’d be forced to fly the coop.
Eugene: There was poultry humor in that remark.
Katrina: Oh, Eugene, that’s a fowl thing to say!
Eugene: Well, I was just winging it.
Jason Whittaker: Do you love him?
Katrina Shanks: Do I love him?
Jason Whittaker: I asked you first!
Eugene Meltsner: What am I gonna do?! She's not only engaged, she's getting married! Oh, why did I ever go to Israel? What am I gonna do?!
Jason Whittaker: What do you mean what are you gonna do?
Eugene Meltsner: I believe my question was precise as it could be under the circumstances.
Jason Whittaker: Look, she's not married yet, is she?
Eugene Meltsner: No.
Jason Whittaker: Then it's not too late for you to rent a car, drive up to Lake Shore Lodge, and bring her back to her senses! <beat> Provided you love her enough to do it.
Eugene Meltsner: Of course I love her!
Jason Whittaker: Then fight for her!
Eugene Meltsner: Yes! I must fight for her! Gentlemen, if you'll forgive me, I must make a hasty departure to the rental desks. Farewell!
Jason Whittaker: Knock 'em dead Eugene!
John Whittaker: Do you think that was wise, Jason? Basically, you just sent Eugene on a mission to storm someone else's wedding. Sounds like a recipe for disaster to me.
Eugene Meltsner: <on phone> No, Mr. Whittaker, I jest not. I rushed in and shouted that it would be a big mistake for Mrs. Shanks to marry Mr. Shanks! <beat> Who's that laughing in the background? Well, tell Jason I don't share his sense of humor! Big help he turned out to be!
Eugene Meltsner: You're making a terrible mistake, Mr. Shanks! You can't let this marriage happen!
Armitage Shanks: I can't? You disapprove of me marrying my wife?
Katrina Shanks: <to Eugene> You're being so childish! <to Brandon> He started it!
Katrina Shanks: Even though you're obviously jealous...
Eugene Meltsner: I am not jealous!
Katrina Shanks: And in denial...
Eugene Meltsner: I am not in denial!
Eugene Meltsner: I don't have any other friends! I mean, not like her. I mean, I have you [Whit] and Connie. But I admire you, and all I ever do is argue with Connie.
Connie Kendall: That's not true!
Eugene Meltsner: See?
Bernard Walton: Eugene, you are unbelievable!
Eugene Meltsner: Ah, I believe I am entirely based within the realm of plausibility.
Bernard Walton: But no one does a survey to decide who they're going to marry!
Millie Shanks: It's a Shanks wedding. It never rains on a Shanks wedding!
Connie Kendall: Uh...no, it's a Meltsner wedding! And trust me, it would rain on a Meltsner wedding.