Candy Jakes

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Candy Jakes
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Voiced by
Episode appearances
Nickname
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Occupation
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Religion
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Type
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Appeared in


History

Candy Jakes is a very overly sweet, fictional girl on a "Rescue 119" Kids' Radio sketch. Candy is a member of the cult: the LOVE people. She goes around with Katherine and tries to convert people. On June 4th, 1994, she and Katherine were making their rounds when the visited the house of David Hornsby, presumably only 1.5 minutes from her own. They sweet-talked him into joining the LOVE people, and left for 3 minutes to collect the items to help him join. It was in the middle of his vows when David realized what he was saying, and that he was promising idolatry, and he excused himself to the kitchen. He returned with a verse to help combat Candy's claim that bowing the to the statue wasn't idolatry. After he proved that the LOVE people weren't compatible with God's Word, Candy and Katherine left, and never returned.

Family

It is unknown whether on not Candy has any true family, but she does consider the other 15,000 members of the LOVE people as her extended family, because of the love that they share with her.

The LOVE People

The LOVE people is a cult to which Candy and Katherine both belong. It can be assumed that Candy is head of the local section. It was founded by Edward Coolidge, and BillCo Incorporated (an appliance company) is one of the charter benefactors. The LOVE people claim to support the Bible (trying to be "inclusive") until it contradicts their laws. The LOVE people has over 15,000 members, who must subscribe to a series of rules when joining. These rules include, but are not limited to, the following:

  • Members must wear a football helmet covered in Worcestershire sauce
  • Members must wear the "Plaid Suit of Interconnecting Love"
  • Members must make their vows with their right hand in the air, and their left hand on a blender
  • Members must swear to uphold all laws of the LOVE people
  • Members must take advantage of every opportunity to love people
  • Members must apply a "Honk if you Love People" bumper sticker to their cars
  • Members must buy all major kitchen appliances from BillCo Inc.
  • Members must kneel before the statue of Edward Coolidge every Saturday and speak a certain set of words

Episodes

Candy Jakes is voiced by Shari Belgeau, has appeared in 1 episode, and has received an average user rating of 91%.